He asked me, “What does sacred mean to you?” I was talking about what I understand tantra to be. That tantra is a weaving of sacred, erotic, sensual, and spiritual energies. It’s slow, connected, conscious, and moves in tandem.

I look deeper into what sacred means to me. I’ve been sitting with the question last night and today. Treating the question itself and my slowness to answer it sacredly. I want my personal meaning and experience of sacredness to rise up from my insides and reveal itself to me.

I experience sacredness as a willingness and an openness to take the time to witness and learn. I can apply the practice of sacredness to listening to the earth or a body of water, to a plant or an animal, to my body, to other humans and their bodies, to feeling into energies or ancestors, and really to anything that I desire to know more about, to respect and revere.

A sacred approach is about discovery and curiosity. It’s a communion with myself or something other than myself in which I allow authenticity and beingness to exist instead of asserting, dominating, teaching, instructing…I open myself to be the student and allow myself to be moved, impressed upon, and educated by listening, being quiet and still, observing and inquiring. It’s not passive, but honoring, graciously giving time and space for existence to occur.

True sacredness values each entity equally without hierarchy. It’s a practice applied to the self and the other with no limit on moment-to-moment discovery. It’s an antidote to rote static processes or beliefs.

When I think I know how I am, who I am, how others are, how the world is, etc., I am unable to seek out and perceive the constant growth, change, and evolution always happening. Sacredness allows for all minutia of movement with presence, attention, attunement, and evolving alignment.

And why is sacredness important to me?

I long to be fully seen. I cherish someone to notice all my details. I desire the presence of myself and others to pay attention to this moment, and the next, to stay and share moments together, and to make the experience of life even more exquisite by showing up fully for it.

I’ve spent so much time feeling invisible and unseen by people and places where I wanted to fit in and be integrated into and comfortable. I’ve longed to be seen as special and sacred, only to be ignored and looked past. There is such deep pain in noticing how others are not seeing you. Or in being misunderstood, unfairly judged, etc.

As it relates to my body, I am always learning how to treat myself sacredly. I am always evaluating and questioning ways that I am told or shown to be sacred with what feels sacred to me. It’s an unending discovery that evolves from moment to moment. It’s a level of self-care I aspire to and make time for and dedicate myself to.
By some miracle, I’ve come to find much more satisfaction and joy in discovering what I love about myself, my body, and my heart, than I used to in trying to figure out how to get others to love or notice me. It interests me more and feels better to discover how I like to love myself. The return on effort is beautiful and so pleasurable.

A practice of sacredness is unpacking and exploring everything I think I know. The thoughts I have where I feel so sure that I know that I give good massages, that I am a good lover or a good kisser, or that I know what someone else likes. When I think these things and feel confident, I might put less effort in or pay less attention, being less attuned. I might miss small things that had I noticed could have shifted things in a big way. As I practice treating myself, others, and the world around me sacredly, I am continually asking myself if things feel right or if something is a bit off. I trust myself more and more to know when something is a bit off and to inquire deeper often finding ways to be or treat something more sacredly.

I try to practice sacred chores in my home from organizing my drawers, to folding my underwear, to brushing my teeth. I practice sacred time in my garden with my plants and sacred time walking on the earth and being with bodies of water. I allow myself to be seen by the natural world and I include myself in those witnessing her beauty as often as possible. This helps me feel grounded, at peace, and a part of something bigger than myself.

I feel best when I treat myself and everything around me sacredly and with respect. It takes more time, but the value I feel in myself and the care I place on my actions and impact make me feel better about the way I walk through my life each day.

When I am overwhelmed, stressed out, tired and depressed, it feels hard, sometimes impossible to move in a sacred way. I can receive the message that my life has become imbalanced and something must change or shift or be let go of in order for me to be able to come back into alignment. Such times call for sacred stillness and noticing. A return to breath and body. I deepening of the love and care that gives my life more meaning.

A return to the sacred, to seeing with the eyes of my heart, and to finding the divine energy and in all things.